


VIII. Defining Choices

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-23
Updated: 2006-06-23
Packaged: 2018-09-03 08:18:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8704783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Sam is faced with a choice. Eighth in the Defining Series.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

_**VIII. Defining Series DEFINING CHOICES (Supernatural D/S)**_  
 **Title:** Defining Choices  
 **Author:** Shorts  
 **Pairings/Character:** Dean/Sam  
 **Rating:** NC17  
 **Category:** Slash  
 **Word Count:** 994  
 **Spoilers:** "Provenance", slight references to "Pilot" and "Shadow".  
 **Note** The links to the other parts of the series can be reached via my info page.  
  
  
  
  
  
DEFINING CHOICES  
By Shorts  
  
  
Dean closed the door to the motel room and leaned against it. Inside he was being torn in two. It had been his choice to push Sam toward Sarah and he was happy for him. Really.  
  
Sam had accused him of pimping him out to Sarah, and in a sense it was true. His reasons weren’t exactly what Sam had assumed them to be, though. Ever since Jess had died, Sam hadn’t even looked at anyone else. Instead, Sam had only sought him out for comfort and affection. Both of which have always been willingly given. At one time he had thought is was enough for Sam, but in Chicago he had learned differently.  
  
Depending on the choices Sam made, it would only be a matter of time before he lost Sam completely. When they succeeded in destroying the demon responsible for the deaths of Mom and Jess, Sam intended to just walk away from this life. He needed to pull away now, so when the time came, it wouldn’t completely destroy him.  
  
But he couldn't help being selfish, either. His heart rebelled against it, wanting Sam while he was still here. There was very little in his life he cherished and he cherished Sam above all else. Even his car, but he would never admit to that out loud. Although, it should have been obvious since he shot out his windshield trying to save Sam from the murderous Woman in White. Nor had he yelled at Sam for crashing his beloved car into the farmhouse.  
  
Dean knew he wasn’t strong enough to separate himself from Sam, even when it meant self preservation to do so, for the simple fact Sam wouldn’t let him. The only other recourse he could find was to push Sam into focusing on others. Then maybe Sam wouldn’t notice his withdrawal. Despite Sam's belief he wasn't like their Dad, Dean knew what his future held without Sam. He'd be a mirror image of their father, existing on the outskirts of the rest of the world. Emotionally cut off with no one to share his life.  
  
Hell, it was possible come morning Sam might decide to stay here. Sam had never been one to hop into bed with someone without some emotional attachment. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but in their line of work it was hard to make meaningful connections with people. But Sarah was different. She knew the family secret and she still accepted his brother.  
  
With that thought, Dean sighed and pushed off the door. Picking up their bags, he dumped their stuff out on the bed and started to sort their belongings. He had been taught to always be prepared, and if Sam wanted to call it quits, he needed to be able to leave as quickly as possible. He placed Sam’s bag on the table and placed his by the door.  
  
*  
  
Dean stared at the ceiling, listening to the sparse traffic passing by. He had taken a shower and rejected the thought of going back to the bar. He wasn’t in the mood for empty company. He had tried watching T.V. to occupy his mind, but gave up. Sleep was hard to capture, his thoughts were centered on the uncertain future.  
  
Sighing, he closed his eyes. The vision of Sam formed in his mind and he swallowed. His hand skated down his chest, pretending it was Sam’s touch on his skin. Biting his lower lip, he hesitated, debating on whether to continue or to stop. The vision of Sam’s smiling face decided for him.  
  
He slipped the tips of his fingers beneath the elastic band of his shorts, caressing the sensitive skin below his belly button. Slowly he teased himself to hardness, skimming the length of his cock before taking himself in hand.  
  
Bending his knees he lifted his hips in time with the slide of his fist, trying to imagine it was Sam’s touch on him. He rubbed the pad of his thumb across the tiny slit of his cock, his hips jerking from the sensation. Adjusting his grip, he increased the speed and pressure of his strokes until he curled forward, choking on Sam’s name. He was left with a hollow feeling in his chest, as he fell back on the bed.  
  
Sliding off his damp shorts and wiping himself clean, he rolled onto his side, fighting back unshed tears.  
  
*  
  
Sam stood in the motel parking lot, watching Sarah drive away. She had asked him to stay, and for a very brief instant, he had considered it. She had offered him a chance to walk away and start over, but he couldn’t. He had left Dean once, he wouldn’t do it again. His whole life, Dean had always been there, protecting him from when they were kids to now, despite the fact he wasn’t a kid anymore. Dean had supported his decision to go off to school, even when it had hurt him to let him go, and he was there through the whole nightmare of losing Jess.  
  
He quietly entered the motel room, giving his sight time to adjust to the gloom and saw Dean’s huddled form on the bed. Silently he undressed.  
  
The shifting of the mattress woke Dean and he held perfectly still.  
  
“Dean?” Sam kept his voice low, barely above a whisper as he spooned behind him. He wrapped his arms around Dean, pressing close to feel him breathe, drawing comfort from him as he settled into bed.  
  
Dean inhaled deeply. Sam smelled of soap and he relaxed. He had always made it a point not to bring his conquests into the bed they shared and he was relieved Sam hadn’t either. “Didn’t expect you back tonight.”  
  
“This is where I belong,” said Sam, tightening his hold on Dean.  
  
Dean squeezed his eyes closed, swallowing against the lump that had formed in his throat. This time, Sam had chosen him.


End file.
